Security - Part 2

Many of us have what could be called a prominent false positive:  one thing we think would make us secure in all things if we could only get it.  Do you know what your false positive is?  What do you tend to relate most to security?  Think of a person you believe to be secure and figure out what earthly thing they possess that you don’t and that will likely be your false positive.  Our attachment to this thing is emotional.  Often we aren’t even aware of it, but we demonstrate it by the inordinate amount of power we assign to it.

Examples:

You know, people who don’t know you really well would never be able to imagine that you struggle with insecurity because…

You’re married to the most fabulous man in the world.  False Positive:  A great man would make me secure.

Look at this house!  Girl you never have to worry about money.  False Positive:  Financial success would make me secure.

You’ve got the best personality.  Everybody likes you.  False Positive:  Popularity would make me secure.

You’re young and in the prime of your life.  False Positive:  Recapturing youthfulness would make me secure.

You’re gorgeous!  I’d give anything to see that in the mirror.  False Positive:  Beauty would make me secure.

You run this entire corporation.  Look how people jump through hoops for you.  False Positive:  Power would make me secure.

Everybody looks up to you.  False Positive: Prestige would make me secure.

Look at all those degrees on your wall.  Are you kidding me?  You’re the smartest person I know!  False Positive:  Credentials/knowledge would make me secure.

None of these things will cut it for you.  Neither will a nose job, money, breast implants, a big house, a man who calls you 6 times a day, great hair, beauty, a big office, loosing those 10 pounds.  These things may soothe the savage beast for a while, but it will inevitably wake back up.  No one solitary thing on this planet has the power to secure everything else.  Security in any earthly thing will not be sustained.

We know our own minds attack us, and added to that, is the fact that there is no apparent end to bad news.  Much of the world is racked with enormous debt and economic instability, threats of terrorism, wars, fallen heroes, rabid perversity and violence just for the pleasure of it.  About the time we stop hearing about one natural disaster, another one strikes with a death toll so high we go numb.  Plus we all have long lists of acquaintances or loved ones diagnosed with life-threatening diseases.  And if there aren’t enough earth-shattering reasons to feel insecure, simply growing up could do the trick.  For some, life is more brutal than to others.  Two people who suffered the same kind of trauma, will respond differently.  They may relate to each other, but they will still be very different.  Proverbs 14:10 says “each heart knows its own bitterness.”  Try as we might, we cannot fully understand how something affected someone else’s life.  Its simply the way our Maker made us.  However, you can rest assured that everyone has suffered something…if not, it’s coming.  Recognition is the first step toward letting God get to an issue and heal it. 

Instability in the Home

This is a no-brainer.  Maybe your parents fight like wildcats and one is continually threatening to leave.  Maybe your parents get along reasonably well, but your home has been rocked by layoffs and financial problems. An alcoholic parent or mentally ill parent also stirs up an environment of uncertainty.  A parent’s physical illness creates significant fear and insecurity for a child.  Sometimes these situations create a fear that no one will take care of you, but know this:  God said “Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you.  I made you and will take care of you. I will carry you and save you” (Isaiah 46:4).

Significant Loss

Losses that contribute to chronic insecurity include: loss of a home, a relationship, a best friend, a babysitter, even a loved one dying.  In the last 2 years, I have lost a grandmother, a grandfather, and two precious Godly people who served as spiritual parents to my mother.  Honestly, because I knew what prayer warriors they were and how much they loved and cared for God’s people, the loss of my grandmother and Dorothy & Joe Turner completely rocked my world.  If I can ever be a portion of the Christians they were, I will call my life blessed.  You may not have suffered this kind of loss, but a broken attachment of any kind can be just as devastating as death, even one that to others seems relatively minor such as the loss of a home, a job, or a friendship.

Rejection

Real rejection does occur, and when it does, it’s a mind bender. No matter the source of rejection (parent, friend, boyfriend) the message is the same: I don’t want you. Nothing elicits quicker agreement on our part than feeling rejected.  The original lie doubles when we find ourselves nodding and saying “You are so right…I’m not worth wanting, I’m not worth loving, I’m not even worth liking, I’m not worth fighting for, I’m not worth keeping.”  Until healing comes, rejection can leave a constant sense of worthlessness.  Because we feel worthless, rejection will then set up a history to repeat itself over and over because rejected people tend to form relationships in which they will again be rejected. 

Rejection can make you do the craziest, most insecure things you have ever done.  One teenage girl told of a friend who was devastated over being dumped by a guy who had hardly raised her eyebrow before his abrupt exit.  Truth be told, she was basically using the guy so she could have a dating life until someone better came along.  The girl said of the friend, “You know…its that rejection thing.  There’s nothing like it to make you obsessed with someone you didn’t even want.”  Isn’t it true? 

Whatever you do, don’t ignore it when God tells you you’re worth fighting for.  God said “I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God” (Isaiah 41:9-10).

Dramatic Change

Most people find a tremendous amount of security in sameness.  Sometimes, they even stay in destructive situations because they think what they know is safer than what they don’t know.  Sometimes we hold onto things so tight we strangle them half to death.  Other times, changes come that we can’t control: accidents, layoffs, a job transfer.  Security is easily threatened by anything unknown.  Life is life and change will happen, but remember God uses change to change us.  He is thoroughly committed to finishing the masterpiece He started in us and sometimes that process means major change. Philippians 1:6.

Personal Limitations

A learning disability can sow a harvest of insecurity.  So can a physical handicap or anything that makes us feel particularly different or inferior.  Sometimes our limitations are only a matter of perception, something one person finds almost debilitating might seem trivial to someone else.  Acne is a prime example.  A girl struggling with a bad complexion may feel humiliated and inhibited by it while her parents can’t figure out why its such a big deal when it will eventually pass.

Attitude is everything when it comes to limitations.  Nothing is more impressionable than a person who is secure in the unique way God made them.  God can bring freedom and vision to your life because of your limitations that you would never have discovered without them.  You can let your limitations make you insecure or unstoppable.

Personal Disposition

It is possible that you know people who have experienced the types of things we just talked about and yet are genuinely secure people.  On the other hand, you may know people who have experienced the best life has to offer and are so insecure you can barely stand to be around them.  Sometimes it boils down to your personality.  People who are especially tenderhearted are more predisposed to insecurity.  Some people are hypersensitive so their joys are huge, but so are their sorrows.

Overcoming Insecurity Tip:

You can pretty much accept as fact that anytime you see me, I’ll still be fretting over my hair, I’ll either have my nails done or tell you how badly I need to go get them done, I’ll still be in search of the most fabulous heels.  I don’t do those things out of insecurity, however, I do them because I enjoy them!  It isn’t because I don’t like myself or because I need you to like me more…its simply because its fun to me.  1 Peter 3:3-4 does a great job of reminding us not to get confused about where true beauty comes from.  However, in the entire context of the Bible you would have a pretty tough time telling me its wrong for me to look my best.  The goal in this is not to be motivated to thought or action by insecurity.  It’s a fine line, but really its quite simple.  Just ask yourself “Am I doing this…buying this…or saying this…or selling this out of any semblance of insecurity?”  If the answer is yes, then be brave and don’t do it.  If you ask, God will give you the insight to know the difference between actions based on insecurity and actions that are not.

We established earlier that we all have fears and those fears trigger insecurity.  We have to learn to truly trust God.  I used to think that the essence of trusting God was trusting that He wouldn’t allow my fears to become realities.  Without realizing it, I basically trusted God to do what I told Him.  If He didn’t, I was thrown for a total loop.  Eventually, through some hard trials, I learned that this thing I was calling trust wasn’t trust at all.  Trusting God to never let our fears happen is too conditional.  It suggests that when what I’m terrified of comes to pass, God is no longer trustworthy.  If we can’t count on God all the time, in all situations, who can we count on?  Isaiah said “He is your constant source of stability.”  Without trust in Him, we will never be secure, stable people.

Jesus is not unhealthy.  He is not co-dependent.  His strength is perfect.  He has no dark side.  In Him there is no darkness at all.  That is our challenge.  To let the healthy, utterly whole and completely secure God-part within us increasingly overtake our earthly vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction and relationship.  When we allow God’s truth to outshine every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll see the treasure we are and the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us (Psalm 90:17).  Human flesh and blood have no weakness so strong that God’s strength is made weak.  He’s got what we need.  Its up to us whether or not we’re going to let the worst of us get the best of us.

Love & Prayers,
Amberly

Security in Christ - Part 1

Several months ago, we had a Ladies in Waiting event at the church and I taught on security.  Several of our girls weren't able to be there for different reasons, but the majority of them consistently read the blog.  I've decided to share my notes on security with all of you.  Its pretty long, so we'll do it in stages, but I really believe that this will help people.  Recognizing insecurity and dealing with it is one of the most important things you can do.  I struggled with insecurity for so many years that I can confidently say I recognize it for what it is, I see the results of it and I know the happiness that comes from overcoming it and be secure in who God made you to be.  You could say this is the closest I've ever come to writing an autobiography.  So much of my life story grows from the soil of insecurity.  Every fear I have faced, every disastrous relationship and idiotic decision I’ve made wormed its way out of that fertile ground.  Through the power and grace of God, I’ve dealt with so many side effects of it, but it took me years to recognize the primary source of my negative behavior and to learn that insecurity among women may be epidemic, but it is not incurable!  I also know that I cannot expect it to go away quietly.  We have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.  That’s what this is about –focusing solidly on one issue that causes countless others.  How many 15 year olds do you know who have slept with their boyfriends in a last-ditch effort to hold on to them?  He usually breaks up with her anyway and eventually her entire high school knows what she did.  I know a woman going through her third divorce.  She wants to find a good man in the worst way, and goodness knows they’re out there.  The problem is she keeps marrying the same kind of man.  If these examples were exceptions to the rule, I wouldn’t bother with this, but you and I both know better than that.  I hear echoes of fear and desperation from women day in and day out – even if they’re doing their best to muffle the sound with their Coach bags.  Who am I kidding? Even with all my knowledge and all my efforts, I can still hear the shouts from my own heart more times than I want to admit.  Something’s wrong when we value ourselves so little.

Life is too hard and the world too mean for many of us to grasp a lofty sense of acceptance, approval, and affirmation early on and accidentally hold onto it for the rest of our lives.  Security has to be intentional because circumstances abruptly change, and setbacks happen. 

So what exactly is insecurity?  One psychologist said this

Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt, a deep feeling of uncertainty about our basic worth and our place in the world.  Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships.  The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.

That was me!  Living in constant fear of rejection and deep uncertainty about  my own feelings.  Here’s the confusing catch: I was rarely called out on the issue.  I'm an organized, self-sufficient person.  I looked like I had it all together.  Let’s face it.  Many of us appear far more together than we are.  This means we need to keep an open mind to what an insecure woman looks like.  Don’t be too hasty to let yourself off the hook just because one dimension of the portrait doesn’t look like you.  The fact that she can be a complicated mix of confidence and self-consciousness is the very reason it took me so long to identify insecurity in myself.  Now that I’ve seen it and over the years taken huge strides in getting rid of it, I can easily see that “no trial has overtaken us that is not faced by others. And God is faithful.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)  To be honest, I don’t know for sure that others are right now going through the same thing I went through.  I just have a hunch.  Making assumptions about who struggles with insecurity and who doesn’t based on what the person appears to be, suggests how little we understand about the nature of insecurity and what feeds it.  I’m hoping after we've gone through all the notes on insecurity, we can rethink our typecasting and develop some real insight.  If you’ve been eaten alive with resentment toward the perky cheerleader with the blonde hair, blue eyes and dark tan, chances are unless you deal with it you will still resent her as an adult.  What you don’t realize is that she may be bloodier in the battle with insecurity than the sum total of the people who hate her.  If you knew what her heart was going through much of the time, you may even feel sorry for her.  Regardless, you would definitely save yourself the energy of wishing you could be her.  Be careful who you covet.  Be careful how you judge.  Be slow to size somebody up and think you “know all about her type.”  Nobody is unbreakable.  Only the dead don’t bleed when they’re cut.  Deep down, we all fear that we aren’t who we pretend to be and the more careful we are about what we are projecting, the more we are driven by fear.

I found an insecurity inventory preparing for this and took it myself.  Many of the statements didn’t apply to me at all, but some were so descriptive I felt like I had been caught cheating.

            Do you cry easily? Sometimes.

            Do you avoid the spotlight in social situations?  No, not really.

            Do you have a strong desire to make amends whenever you think you’ve done something wrong?  Are you kidding me?! I have a strong desire to make amends even when I haven’t done something wrong! And not solely because I want to do the godly thing either.  I battle an inordinate desire to make peace.  I dread the backlash of people far more than the backlash of God.  He’s infinitely more merciful.  Sometimes having someone upset at me is unsettling even if I’m on the right side of the conflict.  I cannot count the times God has had to tell me to stop trying to fix something that insists on staying broken!  Loss of favor and approval is excruciating to me.

            If someone gets angry at you, do you have a hard time not thinking about it? Let’s just say I try to limit myself to obsession.

            Do you sometimes feel anxious for no apparent reason?  No.

            Does it hurt your feelings when you learn someone doesn’t like you?  As Kennedy says “it breaks my whole heart.”

Did you catch the part of the definition that described insecurity as “deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate?”  How often do you ask yourself if what you’re feeling is even real?  Let’s look for a moment at the element of self-consciousness.  At the mention of the term, our minds start sketching images of what we think a self-conscious person looks like and we know we don’t want to be like her.  After all, we have too much pride to be her.  But the truth is she’s not nearly as easily pegged as we think.  I hate to state the obvious, but all it takes to be chronically self-conscious is to be chronically conscious of self.  It’s only an acute self-awareness and a preoccupation with yourself.  You may protect yourself with plainness and try to blend in or you may dress to perfection and stand squarely in the spotlight.  In either situation, if you are more aware of yourself than any other person in the room, whether you feel inferior to them or superior to them, it’s a sign of insecurity.  Never think for a moment that pride and self-centeredness have no role in insecurity.  We will never feel better about ourselves by becoming more consumed with ourselves.  Likewise, we will never feel better about ourselves by feeling worse about others.

This isn't how my original notes go, but so as not to leave you hanging, I'll include one way to overcome insecurity at the end of the blog each day. 

Overcoming Insecurity Tip:

Pursuing a life of purpose is one of the strongest guards against buying the superficiality that feeds insecurity.  Unless we choose to drop out of public life entirely, we are going to pass alluring storefronts, billboards, magazines and Internet ads that shout all sorts of promises they can’t keep. Unless we want to let them completely consume and corrode us, we have to know beyond a doubt that life is about something greater.  Find ways to volunteer and help others.  There are people out there dying to be loved and we have the message they need to hear.  I don’t feel nearly as guilty plunking a new jean skirt on the counter at Gap if I know in my heart that it is the furthest thing on earth from what really matters.  The Prophet Isaiah said something about this years ago:

            Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

 
          Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

           Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

          Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and He will say: Here am I.  If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.

           The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

            Isaiah 58:6-11

Amberly

On the subject of hair...

Absolutely had to post this!!  Sunni is a wonderful young lady who attends the Apostolic Church in Beaumont, Texas.  Take a few minutes and watch this video clip. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0t_8UTJnjk&feature=player_embedded

Amazing stuff!  So proud of you Sunni!

XOXO,
Amberly

Prayer Notebook

I mentioned this yesterday when I did the post on Prayer Baskets.  This is also an idea Sis. Elms gave at the seminar this past weekend.  First, get a 3-ring binder.  Make dividers for the following sections and subsections:

Family
Include in this section names of your family members (give each household their own page).  List needs in your family members lives on their page.

Friends
List each of your friends by name and any needs in their lives.

Souls
Include a section for unsaved people you see on a daily basis or are close to.  Also remember to pray for ALL unsaved people and that the message of truth would be given to them.

Your Church
Pray for your pastor and pastor's wife.  Pray for your assistant pastor and his wife.  Make a list of departments in your church.  Some of those may be: music department, outreach department, Bible study team, bus ministry, prison ministry, ladies ministry, men's ministry, youth department, Sunday School department, etc.  List the leadership of those departments and pray for them by name.

Special Needs
Pray for important events planned at your church.  Pray for sicknesses and problems you are aware of.  Pray for people who are grieving the loss of a family member or relative.

Government
List national officials: the president, congress, senators, supreme court justices, etc.  Pray for these people that God will help them lead our country.  Pray for our soldiers.  Pray for local government officials such as mayors, police chiefs, etc.

Journal
Include a section to write down answered prayers, thoughts God gives you during prayer time, scriptures, etc.  This is an awesome thing to have written down when you go through times it feels like God isn't hearing you.  To be reminded that He has provided in the past is a great faith builder.

Have fun creating your prayer notebook!!  I plan to start working on mine today!

Love,
Amberly

Prayer Basket

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending the MAP seminar in Lufkin, TX.  In one of the classes I attended, Sis. Elms mentioned having a prayer basket and gave each of the ladies a "how-to" list for making your own.  Being an organized person (or at least trying to be LOL), I loved this idea!!  Even if you are young, I think its a wonderful thing to do.  So here goes...

First, find a good size basket and then fill it with with these things:

1.  Pen, pencil, and a highlighter

2.  Bible

3.  Prayer Notebook (I'll go over this tomorrow)

4.  Kleenex

5.  Notepad

When its time to pray, just grab your basket!  You'll be all set with your Bible, pens and notepad to jot down notes, a highlighter to highlight portions of scripture that day, kleenex in case you cry and your prayer notebook to use to keep track of things God has done for you, prayers He has answered and a list of people/needs you are praying for!

Amberly

True Beauty

I hear girls comment all the time that they are overweight, don’t have the right clothes to wear or wish they had blond hair instead of brown hair; curly hair instead of straight hair.  We never stop to think that surely God knew what He was doing when He made us!  There are times I still deal with some insecurities, but at least now I have learned an incredible lesson.  While reading the Psalms, I stumbled onto a scripture which helped me glimpse God’s view of me.  It was exactly what I needed at the time. 

Psalm 45:11 (KJV) says, “So shall the King greatly desire thy beauty: for He is thy Lord and worship thou Him.”  The NIV says “The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord.”  According to Webster’s dictionary, the definition of enthralled is to hold spellbound.  Amazing!  The King of Kings is spellbound by your beauty!  As long as He finds you beautiful, does it really matter what the rest of the world thinks about you or even, what you sometimes think about yourself?

Psychologists today are always telling us that self-esteem is the most important thing a person has.  And, I think they usually send people to the wrong places to find it.  Self-esteem comes from security and self-worth.  We cannot be complete without God.  He is the One who completes us.  Your sense of self-worth is directly related to the Lord.  A relationship with Him is the only way to find security in every area of your life.  An example of this security is found in The Song of Solomon.  First, we need to establish that according to Ephesians 5:31-32, marriage is an earthly representation of the relationship the church is to have with Jesus Christ.  The Song of Solomon helps us relate earthly marriage to our union with Christ through a beautiful tale of romance and love, in the physical sense and also in the spiritual sense.

Please read Song of Solomon chapter 2.  In verse 1 (NIV), note that the female, or “the beloved,” speaks of herself as “a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys.”  In verse 2, the man responds, “Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens.”  She was not being vain or egotistical, she simply saw herself as he saw her.  Through the knowledge that he saw her as a lily among thorns, she came to fully believe that. 

What a difference it would make in our lives if we would stop judging ourselves by what we see in the mirror!  We need to see ourselves as our Heavenly King sees us, beautiful beyond compare.  He is completely taken with you!  Always remember that “the King is enthralled by your beauty.”  He sees you as beautiful and desirable in a pure and holy way we cannot comprehend.  Let your mirror be the face of Jesus.  To Him, the most beautiful girl in the world is the bride who steadily makes herself ready for her Groom.  Jesus is not a stern dictator looking down from Heaven, making sure we obey His rules.  He is not a distant being too busy running the world to notice the details of our everyday lives.  He is so much more than someone we simply believe in to escape hell when we die.  He is the lover of your soul, your true Prince.  He is One who loves you in a way no one else is capable of loving you.  The One who has cherished you since before your life even began.  The One willing to transform you from a hopeless girl in rags into His beautiful, confident and radiant princess. 

When you are completely dedicated to Him and begin to understand His incredible love for you, you will be fulfilled and possess a true, authentic beauty that flows from deep within.  Ladies who have realized this are world-changers.  They stand out from among other young women like a “lily among thorns.” 

Love,

Amberly

Facing Fear

I have always admired Esther.  So many Biblical accounts are about men, that I really enjoy it when I read something about a woman...especially this woman.  She has always been my hero!  If you have never read the book of Esther, I encourage you to.  Its an incredible story of an amazing young lady and its also very applicable to the world we live in today.

Esther was originally named Hadassah, which means myrtle.  I can’t help imagining how differently we would view the book of Esther had it been called the book of Myrtle.  I’ve heard that “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” but I’m not sure I’ve ever believed it! LOL Everyone knows Esther was beautiful, but did you know that Esther was an orphan?  She was raised by her cousin Mordecai, probably a bachelor, in the foreign land of Persia.  The Bible does not tell us how Esther’s parents died, or when they died, but some scholars believe they died at the same time.  How horrible.  Young, orphaned, raised by your bachelor cousin.  Esther probably never imagined she would deliver the Jews from being wiped off the earth for good. 

Did you know that Esther did not end up in the palace by her own choice?  The king’s search for a new queen was not a beauty pageant that Esther volunteered to take part in.  Esther 2:8 tells us that “when the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many girls were brought” to the palace.  Can you imagine?  She was a foreigner, torn from the only father she had ever known and taken to a palace full of strangers who didn’t know her true identity.  And, it only got worse. 

When she arrived, she was subjected to one year of daily beauty rituals.  This was done so that regardless of the heat, regardless of the situation the queen was in, she would smell wonderful and look great.  We all have cabinets full of beauty products, lotions for this and that, a different perfume for every season, special shampoos, but I bet none of us have submerged ourselves in oil for hours upon hours every day for months just to get rid of a few blemishes!  Esther endured some serious stuff!  After the year of beauty treatments was over, each girl was given one chance with the king.  She would never again return to the king unless he took a special liking to her and asked for her by name.  This was a very long process!  Esther had been at the palace for 1 year and 10 months before she was called to see the king!  Esther 2:17-18 (The Message Remix) says “The king fell in love with Esther far more than with any of his other women or any of the other virgins – he was totally smitten by her.  He placed a royal crown on her head and made her queen…” 

Now for the good stuff.  It all starts with Haman.  Haman was the highest ranking official in the king's government and hated Jews.  He had sent out an order to destroy the Jews and all their property.  When Esther heard about it, she sent a servant, Hatach, to Mordecai to get the whole story.  Mordecai told Hatach everything that was going on.  Esther 4:8 says, "he told him (Hatach) to urge her to go into the king's presence to beg for mercy and plead with him for her people."  Esther sent Hatach back to Mordecai with a message of her own.  Verse 11 says she told Hatach to tell Mordecai "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king."  Esther thought Mordecai had lost his mind.  He was basically asking her to risk her life.  She was scared for her people, and also for herself.  Mordecai would not be stopped.  He sent another message to Esther (Esther 4:13-14) saying "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape.  For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"  This got Esther's attention.  She replied (Esther 4:16) "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."

What do you think changed her mind?  How did she get from the fear in verse 11 to the courage in verse 16?  I think, for one, that Mordecai reminded her of her heritage when he said “do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape.”  He also forced her to think of her life without him and that there were others who depended on her, by saying “If you remain silent…your father’s family will perish.”  Sometimes, we will do for others, especially people we love, what we would not have the courage to do for ourselves.  Last, Mordecai reminded her of destiny, of God’s ultimate plan for each of our lives, with this statement:  “Who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”  Morst likely, even if Esther refused to help, God would have rescued His chosen people some way…but, Esther was His first choice. 

Have you ever thought it wasn’t necessary for you to do something because surely someone else would take care of it?  Have you ever been scared to let people see you for who you really are?  Fear is a daily struggle in our lives.  God knew that.  One can safely assume it’s the reason the most oft given command in the Bible is “Do not be afraid…” Fear rears its ugly head in almost every situation.  We desire to apply for a promotion at work, but we’re afraid that if we get the position we won’t be able to do the job.  We’re afraid of dying young, yet we’re afraid of growing old.  We're afraid of committment, yet we're afraid of living alone.  

Face your fears, whatever they may be.  Esther said, “If I perish, I perish.”  In other words, “I may die trying to save my people, but it’s worth it!”  When my sister and I first moved to Houston, we were both scared of every little noise we heard.  One night we were both petrified by a noise we kept hearing at the back window.  We were huddled together in my sister’s bedroom, conversing about our impending doom.  I would say, “Do you think someone’s trying to get in?”  She’d say “if they are, what are we going to do?”  To which I would reply, “If someone breaks in, they could steal all our stuff…they could rape us…they could kill us!”  To which my sister says, “Oh goodness…we only have steak knives to protect ourselves with!”  On and on we went, terrifying ourselves even more!  Looking back this is hilarious, but at the time, we were scared senseless…obviously, right?  When we finally got enough courage up to look out the window, we discovered that the noise was only a branch blown by the wind.  The branch kept striking the window and making a noise.  That night, I prayed that God would cast fear out of my life.  Ever since then, I’ve never been scared to be alone.  Through my fear, God taught me that we cannot simply trust Him not to let our biggest fears become reality.  We have to trust that if/when our biggest fear becomes reality, He will be there!  Having fear is putting your trust in the wrong source.  To have fear is to have faith in the enemy…and he doesn’t deserve that. 

We need to be fearless.  Not ignorant, but wise and brave.  Sometimes we are the only ones who can change the future!  If we don’t stand up, who will?  If this generation doesn’t share this gospel, then who will?  It takes courage to remain steadfast in truth.  Living for God isn’t easy and sometimes its downright scary!  But just as Esther was the one who could step up and save her people, we are the ones who can step up, save this holiness message and proclaim salvation.  As a child of the King, you are a princess.  Gather all the people, fast and pray, for who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this. 

Sorry for the longest blog ever LOL

Amberly