Skin Isn't In...

Looks Do Matter. 

There. I said it. If you are a Christian, then your faith plays a part in every aspect of your life.  Or at least it should.  Faith affects your personal life, your career choices and your relationships.  Faith affects your music and movie selections, where you hang out and what you do for fun.  Faith even affects your clothing choices.  As a Christian female you have a responsibility to make sure the way you dress reflects who you really are.  I’m not saying you should walk around wearing “I love Jesus” t-shirts, but you should live knowing that what you put on in the morning says something about your character. 

So what’s with all the fuss about modesty?  First and foremost, remember the previous blog about the King being enthralled by your beauty?  Think about that again.  The King of the universe thinks you’re amazing!  He thinks you have the perfect size feet.  He thinks your nose fits your face exactly the way it should.  Those hips you complain about? He made them for you.  And…He thinks you’re pretty cute!  The reality is that most of don’t think that about ourselves.  We’ve decided that we’d look better as a blonde, so we dye our hair.  We’d really like a smaller nose, bigger breasts, thinner thighs so we do whatever it takes to get it.  We start searching out the answers to our issues (or paying for surgery), and end up deciding that everyone else is prettier so why even bother?  Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and we should take care of it so its okay to take care of your skin, to go to the gym and diet, and all those things.  That’s taking care of the temple…but remember that beauty is not what you think it is.  Beauty is not where you think it is.  Beauty is you.  Beauty is me.  Beauty is God.  What do I mean?  Beauty is in the natural.  It’s not about airbrushing or tons of make-up.  Beauty is found in us in our natural form, before we mess with anything.  One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” 

As a Godly young lady, it is your responsibility to represent Jesus well.  For some, you may be the only representation they ever see.  How does that make you feel?  Are you confident that your outer appearance accurately reflects who you are on the inside?  We have a responsibility to present ourselves modestly.  Not old-fashioned, boring and fuddy-duddy.  Modesty is about taking care not to cause our brothers in Christ to sin in their minds and often, in their actions.  It’s caring that you don’t show your underwear to the cashier when you bend over at the store.  It’s not dressing so sexy that you attract the wrong kind of attention and present the wrong message.  Modesty shows other people what’s going on inside of you.

This story is in the book Good Girls Don’t Have to Dress Bad by Shari Braendal.  It’s an awesome book and we are going to be using some of her tips later in this blog and also in future blogs. 

Recently I attended a football game with a friend of mine, and her beautiful sixteen-year-old daughter ran into the stands to say hello to us.  I have known this family for a long time, and this young woman, who has heard me speak several times, respects my thoughts on fashion and modesty.  As Tracy made her way through the bleachers, I noticed she had on the shortest shorts I had ever seen a girl wear.  She might as well have been wearing just her underwear…It was hard not to notice her barely there clothing.  I couldn’t not say anything.  I looked her straight in the eyes and said ‘Tracy, why, oh why, are you wearing those shorts? You are such a positively stunning girl.  But guess what? No one is going to notice your amazing face because all they’ll be looking at is your bottom half.’

I was sure of one thing.  Tracy’s self-worth was tied up in the response she was getting from guys who made suggestive comments about her appearance.  And no one, not a peer or an adult, had the guts to speak out against it.

So many young girls today are dressing to impress the boys…even Pentecostal ones who don’t ever wear shorts!  Just take a look around you at church.  Short skirts, tight skirts, tight shirts, exposed body parts.  Shari Braendal interviewed several young men when writing her book.  One of them said “They (girls) think they’re dressing to get our attention, but they’re getting the wrong kind of attention.  When we look at them in their barely there clothes, we don’t think the thoughts they wish we would think.  We actually think less of them.  They want us to find them attractive, but we end up thinking things about them that we know they wouldn’t want us to think.”  Wow!  He basically said he would rather his female peers not display their bodies in immodest ways. 

Most of you probably think of words like old-fashioned, boring, out-of-date, puritan and nerdy when you hear the word modesty.  Do you realize now that your outer appearance reflects who you are on the inside?  If you answered yes, then I want to create a picture in your mind.  Imagine a teenage girl wearing a sheer blouse with her red bra straps showing through…when she bends over you can see her underwear over the top of her low-rise skirt.  Is that image clear?  Now think about your impression of her.  What kind of girl do you think she is? 

Now, let’s put a second picture in your mind.  This girl is wearing a tank top under her too-low shirt, but you can still see a little cleavage peeking out over the top.  Her skirt is a little too short, but she has leggings on underneath.  What’s your impression of this girl?  Obviously, the second girl is dressed more modestly than the first.  I mean, she covered her legs with leggings and her cleavage was only slightly peeking out of the top of her shirt.  So what’s the big deal?  The big deal is…guys are visual.  God created their brains with some extra stuff that we don’t have.  The fact is, when a boy sees a girl wearing a short skirt with leggings, his mind may not go into overload; but when he sees that cleavage peeking out over the top of her shirt he will immediately think “Hmmmm…wonder what it looks like down there?”  You can argue that it doesn’t matter.  You can say you are big-busted and you can’t help it.  It won’t change my mind.  You CAN help it and you SHOULD help it.  Dressing modestly means having an attitude in dressing that reflects a respect for God, yourself and the opposite sex. 

I love fashion, especially the new trends and crazy styles that come out each season, and the cool thing is – I can wear the popular styles and do it modestly.  Modesty is about learning how to take each style and make it respectful.  Doing this will bring out the fashionista in you by allowing you to be creative with your clothes.  For example…I can wear a see-through blouse and still be modest by wearing a cute t-shirt underneath it.  So here are Shari’s rules for modesty.  The 5 Bs of beauty and the 5 Bs of style…

The 5 Bs of Beauty

Be yourself.  Dress in what you love and what loves you back.

Be colorful.  Always wear shades that flatter you and your personality (we’re going to talk more about this Friday).

Be satisfied with your body.  Wear the size that fits, not one size too small.

Be beautiful.  Remember you are amazing exactly the way you are!

Be respectful.  Ask yourself “Would this outfit trip up a guy?”

The 5 Bs of Style

No Bra straps.  Don’t let yours show…anywhere, anytime!  It’s sloppy.

No Bust exposure.  Don’t choose clothes that show your cleavage.  Make sure your tops aren’t too tight at the bust.  Get a bra with a little padding…I don’t want to look at your chest and know that you’re cold.

No Bellies.  Treat your tummy as a private part.  Make sure your shirts are long enough to cover your belly when you move around, raise your arms, etc.

No Bottoms.  Don’t wear anything with words written on your bottom.  Don’t wear your skirts above your knee.  Don’t wear low-rise skirts without a long top.  We don’t want to see your underwear.

No Bubbling.  This is what happens when your skirt is too tight.  If you look in the mirror and you have a cute little bubble in the back…your skirt is too tight.  Trust me…I know how much this stinks.  I’ve given away a lot of cute skirts in the past year because I’m too lazy to exercise and my hips keep expanding.  As painful as it is to give away that cute skirt, it isn’t Godly to continue wearing it.

So there you go.  Skin isn’t in.  As Godly young ladies, we are called to a higher standard.  Before you walk out your door, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself “If I were to run into me today, what would my impression be based on what I’m wearing?”

Happy shopping!!!

Amberly